2 health updates

June 23, 2009

As many of you have heard, my health hasn’t been all that great the past few days.

I woke up from a nap one afternoon with some small bumps and a little bit of a burning feeling on the back of my right shoulder. I figured, like with everything else, it was just heat rash and would go away.
The next day, the area was bright red and had a raised rash. It was no longer bumps, but looked more like an animal attacked me somewhat, like claw marks. The doctor came that day and he wasn’t sure what it was. I had talked to my mom earlier and she said it sounded exactly like Shingles, which is when the chicken pox virus that most of us have when we are little, flares up. It doesn’t bring chicken pox back, but shingles, which is this rash, usually on one side of the body, looking like an open wound. It burns and the pain is excruciating. This is usually just found in older people, or younger people under a large amount of stress (I guess I need to find a new stress-reliever here)

The doctor scolded me, telling me that I should have seen him sooner, and I do not take care of my health, and that this was worse than he has seen in India for someone’s skin. (I am not a fan of doctors clinics, or hospitals so I stay away from them at all costs, even the cost of my own health) He would be back the next day for some blood testing.

The next day, I looked at my shoulder in the mirror and it was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen on myself. On top of that, it hurt so badly. It felt like I had the worst sunburn possible and every time I moved my right arm, it was like someone was slapping the burn as hard as they could.

The doctor didn’t come back, but two of his assistants did; 2 men, clearly in their twenties. I was surprised that they came to me to take a blood test instead of me going to the clinic. I saw that the needle they used was clean (thankfully) but was a little bit concerned when the guy who drew the blood didn’t wear any gloves or clean the area of my arm first. He took the blood sample and put it in a little glass jar and put the top on it. The leftover blood, he kept in the syringe, put the cap on the syringe, put that back in the original packaging and stuck it in the front pocket of his shirt. Isn’t that somewhat weird?

The embarrassing part was when they needed a urine sample. I didn’t have to go to the bathroom at all, and it was awful because they guys couldn’t speak any English, and Peter, who would usually translate, was gone, so they had to have the oldest boy, also named Peter, who was 15, tell me they needed that kind of test. Soon, all of the kids knew what was going on, and when the guys left they were laughing. Of course they would, right? I was pretty mortified. Oh well. Definitely not in the US anymore.

I have an infection that has been spreading throughout my entire body. I’m not sure how it has come. I’m thinking through the bugs and heat combined, because most of it shows in the wounds left by the bugs. The two guys came back today with my test results, and I passed everything except for one kind of infection that I still don’t understand, so one of them injected me with this stuff that is supposed to help heal me quickly.

I had complained before about the pain of getting my nose pierced because he just shoved the needle in. I think this was worse. The needle hurt a little bit, but whatever they were injecting into me made me almost cry. And I do not cry over physical pain. I could feel it going in my arm, and it hurt badly, and made my arm heavy and numb, like a tetanus shot, only 100x worse. The pain is better now and hopefully it starts working soon so I can be fully healthy again.

I am currently taking about 7 pills/day between antibiotics, allergy pills, and pain medication. The shoulder wound has put me out of commission for the past couple of days because I can barely move my arm, and the pain is causing me to be sick and I am having a lot of trouble sleeping at night.

I am not allowed to eat normal curry right now because so much of what we have here will only prolong the infection. For the next couple of weeks, all I can have is rice with curd. Curd is just how it sounds. Warmed milk, set out until it gets chunks in it. Sounds good, right? I used to hate it but luckily now, I actually enjoy it and it’s extremely healthy.

Other than that stuff, things here are awesome. Every day, I wake up more thankful than the day before that God has placed me here and given me an opportunity to serve Him like He has.

I’m becoming even closer to the kids every day and have realized how almost impossible it is going to be to leave them. I think my heart might be ripped out of me.

These kids teach me lessons and bring me joy every single day, like I’ve never experienced before back home.

I have kids constantly concerned about me being in pain, and wanting to actually touch my shoulder to put the skin cream all over it. Then they continue to put it on my legs and arms where there are other open wounds from the infection. They couldn’t care less about it looking gross. They just want me to be comfortable. After that, they get me water, and rub or pat my back trying to get me to relax. They’re like little mothers…so don’t worry Mom, I’m getting taken care of very well here…by 3 through 13-year-olds.

Are we capable of caring for others like that? I don’t think I ever was before. It’s amazing what the love of a child can change in you.

I know for my remaining time here, Satan is going to try to throw many things at me to make me fall. I’ve had the bugs/heat (which is normal for here), the dark figure in my room, the monkeys, now the spreading infection, and my shoulder looking like it’s going to fall off and then there is the constant battle of miscommunication due to the language barrier. This must mean we’re doing something good here, right? Satan is working pretty hard against us. The great thing though, is that no matter what he decides to throw my way, I am not moving from here, and I am going to keep on doing work for God as long as I am here, no matter what obstacles. Getting through these things not only proves how much stronger I am than I thought I was with God’s help, but also God’s continued Faithfulness to journey with me, no matter how dark or steep or winding the road.

Although I am the same person overall as when I started, I think my heart has been completely changed. Changed in an even better way than I could have ever imagined myself to be, and this is all because I am doing what God asked of me, and even though it’s hard, the rewards of giving my life up for Him are endless.

Thank you for all of your prayers.

And if you didn’t see it, there was an article on Thomas and OAFA in last Saturday’s paper (6/20) in the Religion section. Check it out on Mlive. Com.

If I am not very quick at responding to wall posts/emails/messages, it’s because due to our expenses, our internet has been cut down by a LOT giving me only enough time to get done what I need, so please be patient, I will get back to you, and it has been out completely the past few days. J

Please let me know if there is anything we can pray for you back home for.

Grace and Peace and Blessings to you all.

LOVE

Jenna

p.s. On a side note, I’ve really been interested in the music artist, Kari Jobe recently. She’s incredibly uplifting with a very sweet and light voice. I would recommend listening to her album, especially the songs “Healer” and “Revelation Song” (probably both familiar to Crossroads go-ers)

UPDATE: June 25, 2009

Since I typed the last update, it has been 2 days. I had a terrible reaction to the shot, causing me to have a mix of the flu/a fever yesterday. Peter told me that meant it was working though. My skin has cleared up more from the infections/bug wounds in the last 2 days than it has in the entire time I’ve been here. My shoulder looks pretty normal now...just like a burn that's peeling.

I still can’t sleep for more than 2 hours at a time or 4 hours at night, making days/nights seem to go on forever but today is extremely dark, so maybe that means rain/the monsoon will be coming soon. I’m sure once it’s cool out it will be much easier to sleep. J

We are still without the internet. They are doing some digging in the land around us and it hit the phone line causing the landline/internet to be out for an undetermined amount of time. I’m currently at an internet café trying to catch up.

Thanks for your continued prayers and patience!

birthdays, monkeys and a beautiful child.

It seems to be no secret that I am bad at updating my blog. I have no good excuse for my lack of dedication except that I forget. It’s a good thing I have my mom to remind me of it. Even from the other side of the world I still need her to remind me to get things done. :)

So what has happened since I last updated?

Most of the children have returned back to the orphanage after spending some time with their family. The couple who are still gone should be back by the end of this week.

They began school last week and attend every day except Sunday. They even have to go 3 Saturdays/month. Can you even imagine that?

This is their schedule: Wake up at 5:15am for prayer, which goes until 6am. The tutors come from 6am-7am and then from 7am-830am is breakfast and getting ready, then they leave for school at 9am. The little ones come back from school for the day around 1130am-12pm (pre-schoolers), and then the high schoolers come back here for lunch at 1pm then go to school until 5pm, which is when the rest of the kids return. They have about a half hour, and then the tutors come back from 530pm-630pm, then they have prayer from 7pm-745ish, dinner around 8pm and then go to bed. So their day is jam-packed full mostly of studying. I, however, have a lot of free time now while they’re school. Luckily, my mom gave me a couple books for my birthday and am working on the second of the two currently.

I was thinking about possibly starting to write my own book while I’m here. Not an auto-biography, but possibly a work of fiction that may include a few situations from my own life. I am also in the process of writing some songs. I’ve never done that before, but have always wanted to. Between working on it here, and partnering with my extremely talented friend back home, I think we may come up with some cool stuff.

We’re still waiting on the monsoon, hoping that it will be arriving within the next week. Because of the heat, it was declared that as of today, all of the kids will only being having half-days of school thru the end of the month. I just feel terrible that they can’t do anything because it’s so hot, so they end up sitting in Peter’s room when there’s power to watch to tv because it wouldn’t be safe for them to be playing outside.

As many of you know, my birthday was June 17. 24-years-old. I know that sounds young to most people, but for me, I can’t help but wonder where the past 24 years have gone. It seems like just yesterday that I was graduating from 8th grade, and now here I am, living in India, still not knowing exactly what I want to do with my life. It’s funny how when you’re so young, you know exactly what you want for yourself. You have everything planned out. And then when the time comes to make your dreams and goals a reality, there are a million other possibilities that you didn’t think of when you were 10-years-old and planning your life out.

Anyway, the kids had been so excited about my birthday for a long time. From the time it was 10 days before, they would come up to me and shake my hand and say “in advance happy birthday.” The morning of, the girls all came in my room to wake me up and they each shook my hand, kissed it and said “Happy Birthday, Sister.” What a good way to wake up.

They had to go to school that day, so Vijay and I went out and she took me out to lunch and we went to a jewelry shop and I bought myself a beautiful ring (the one thing I’m allowing myself to get strictly because I wanted it). I usually do not like gold at all but gold here is a lot different than in the US. It’s much more pure and I had seen this ring over a month ago and it’s just perfect.
Vijay had bought me a half-sari the month before so her and the sewing teacher tailored it to me and had it done so I could wear it. There was extra fabric so they made Grace (Vijay’s 2-year-old daughter) a little dress to match.
They got me a cake and all of the kids sang “Happy Birthday” in English, but a different version, and I got in a small frosting fight with Vijay and everyone enjoyed the cake afterwards and then a dinner with chicken curry (we only get chicken here on special occasions). It was a birthday I will definitely never forget and I feel bad for ever being upset that I wouldn’t be with my friends and family back home, thinking I would “have no one.” I had more people here to celebrate with than I would have back home, and it was amazing.

Over the past couple of weeks, God has really been working in me and changing my heart even more and giving me new perspectives on different situations that would arise. I’m learning to do things with a much more willing heart, even though it may not be what I had planned for myself at all. I’ve learned that attitude is everything when it comes to whether something is enjoyable or not. You can be doing something you absolutely hate but could still either enjoy it or have it come out being a positive experience because of a positive attitude. It seems like common sense, but how often do we groan and gripe about the tasks laid before us and just force ourselves to do it, complaining the whole time or wishing we were doing something different? I’m still learning to do this, but so far it has proved to work out much better for me than being my normal, negative-self about it.

A few of you have heard about my second scary situation here. But for those of you who haven’t, let me quickly summarize what happened. A few days ago, while the kids were in school, I was in my room watching a movie. Remember that my actual bedroom is connected to two other rooms; the dining room on one side, and the room w/shelves and a sink on the other side. I heard a rummaging noise and look over and there were two monkeys sitting in the room with the sink. A bag of some of my things were all over the floor and the monkeys were trying to open things and eat them, and when they realized they couldn’t eat them, they would throw them on the floor and go for the next thing. This may sound funny now, but these are not cute monkeys. They are extremely ugly and very dangerous. I became almost paralyzed with fear and just froze. One of them stared at me and made a growling/hissing noise. I almost screamed but instead, I shut my door to that room and shoved my bed in front of it. It took everything I had in me to go out the dining room door to get out because I was afraid there would be more monkeys over there. Luckily there weren’t, so I went downstairs and got Peter and told him that there were monkeys up in my room. He grabbed a large baseball bat and came up and chased them away with it. Of course little Moses heard the word, “monkey” and got really excited and wanted to see what was going on so I had to grab him before he ran over to the monkeys. He was so cute though saying “monkey” over and over again. Peter said that there were the two monkeys that I saw and then 2 larger ones in the actual bathroom where the shower and toilet are outside. The monkeys here can sense fear in people, so if they know that you’re scared, they will come after you and attach themselves onto you and claw at your face, and will probably bite you, causing some serious damage. Even though I know this, I can’t help but be terrified. I’ve seen monkeys every day since, but none have come in my room, thankfully. I was told that the monkey season is actually when it gets cooler out, so I’m sure there will be many more to come. I never thought I would ever in my life have to worry about monkeys coming into my room anywhere and eating my stuff.

This has gotten to be quite the long blog post. I suppose that’s what I get for not updating at least once a week.

I want to leave you with one thing:

My mom gave me the brilliant idea of telling little stories about kids here; More than just the little biographies about their life before OAFA that you can find on the website.

I’m going to tell you about Divya (Di-Vee-Ya). She is 9-years-old, and is the only child here with HIV. Although she suffers from this illness, you would never guess. She has so much energy and has the brightest smile. All I have to do is look at her smiling at me and I can’t help but smile back and just love her even more. She tends to get tired a little bit easier and keeps to herself, but is filled with so much joy. I’m not sure why, but she loves cleaning things and organizing, so one of her favorite things to do is come in my room and move stuff around and put all my shoes in a bag and pile all of the boxes on top of each other to look more organized. She folds everything and loves to help me fold my saris (which is for the most part, a 2-person job) and even folds my clothes that I had worn the day before. After she’s done organizing whatever she felt was needed at the time, she sits on my bed with me and looks at pictures of my family and friends from back home. She also likes skype-ing with people back home. She came and joined me while I was talking to a friend back home and he decided to teach her the “rock on” hand gesture, so every now and then, she’ll run around doing the hand gesture, saying “rock on” in her little Indian accent, and then stick out her tongue like they do in rock bands. It’s so funny, and so cute.

I have an extremely soft spot in my heart for her. She used to have beautiful long hair, but had to get it all cut off. Even so, she is one of the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen. It breaks my heart to know what she’s suffering from.
I’m pretty sure this is my longest entry yet.
I’ll try to get better at updating more often.

Thank you SO SO much for all of your continued prayers and encouragement. I love getting the little facebook status comments from so many of you and also the email updates about what’s going on in your lives back home. A huge thank you to those who sent me birthday cards here. It brought home a little bit closer to me and I will keep those cards forever.

Feel free to contact me either over here, email or facebook, or stay updated with what I’m doing by finding me on “Twitter” (yes, I gave in and got it). Also, if you ever want to skype with me and meet some of the kids, let me know and we can set up a time. :)

Love to you all!

Jenna
p.s. I am putting up a couple pictures of Divya so you can see who I’m talking about. :) (click on them to see larger views)

F.R.O.G.

Hello my dear friends.

It is currently 7:45 on monday evening. Today was my "day off" so I spent my time listening to the new Hillsong United album (amazing), napping, and just thinking about life in general.

Things here are going well. Still waiting for that monsoon to come and bring some cooler weather with it. I can guarantee during the first week, i will be outside dancing and splashing in the rain as much as possible.

The majority of the kids have come back from their short "mission trips" to their families. It's good to hear so many loud voices worshiping with everything they have in them once again. It's funny how I feel almost like a parent to all of these kids. When they left, even just for a few days, I would get so sad, and when they returned, I felt the joy dancing around in my soul like after your own child leaves for a while then returns (maybe how my mom has felt/will feel).

I've been thinking a lot lately about my purpose for being here.
I was so convinced that I was going to come here and change lives. I am gifted with computers and doing administrative work, and that's what the board had said OAFA needed. However, it is much more complicated than that, and I haven't really been able to do any, because I don't understand any of the reports or receipts (because of the language).

So I've been left with...nothing? I didn't come here with a degree in anything specific. I'm working towards education, but I still don't even know if that's really what I want to do with the rest of my life. I love kids, but do I love teaching?

I remember talking to Brooke at the boiler room in Grand Rapids months ago, and she told me that she had come into her year of being an intern with all these expectations of what she was going to do. Little did she know that God had other plans and ended up being the one showing her things and teaching her things.

I've decided that coming into experiences where God is calling you, you might as well take your expectations and throw them out the window.
Once I began to let go of my assumptions of what I was going to do for everyone else here, I really began to see the work that God was doing in me.

I have begun to actually accept the fact that I may be more changed and will learn way more than I will change or teach others.
One of the biggest things I've began to learn is my need for Jesus, and having Him be ALL I need.

I've struggled a lot here with loneliness. Sure I have people back home to talk to over the internet and occasionally the phone, but when I am really homesick or just having a bad day here, it's not the same as having someone here. Peter speaks English, but occasionally it's a little bit hard for us to communicate because he speaks it a little bit differently than I do. On top of that, he is gone much of the time running errands for OAFA and doing business-related things, so I really have NO ONE who can clearly understand me.

This has forced me to spend a lot more time praying and talking to God. Even though He isn't here in physical form, I know I could not even say a word and He would still understand me.

What's awesome though is that even though a lot of the time we don't think so, He is ALL WE NEED. He is sufficient enough to fill every spot of loneliness that's looming around inside of us.

Isn't that amazing?

Each time I am having a hard time, and go to God with it, something happens. Either my mood just changes for no actual reason, or one of my babies here will bring me joy, or someone back at home will send me a message or have a great bible verse that seems to be meant exactly for me.

It's such an encouragement knowing that even though I feel alone because no one speaks English, I am NEVER alone. I think I've always known that in the back of my head, but never really understood that concept until I came here.

Remember after the WWJD bracelets came out, FROG bracelets came out? Fully Rely On God. That's all there is to it.

I am learning so much and am being stretched to my limits.
I still wake up everyday in disbelief that I am actually living in India.

The challenges keep coming, but so do the blessings.

I hope everyone back home is doing well.

I miss you so very much, and am so grateful for the prayers and encouragement.

Grace and Peace,

Jenna

Things I Have Gotten Used To

1. Mosquitoes eating me alive making it look like I actually have holes in my legs and arms

2.Thousands of flies swarming me all the time, especially in the morning and during the day and covering my food and just having to swipe them away.

3. Ants. Everywhere

4. Showering by pouring buckets of water on myself

5. Having my clothes washed by laundry ladies which means washing my clothes in water/soap, hitting them on the ground, then putting them on our dirt-filled roof to dry, therefore making them sometimes seem dirtier than when I gave my clothes to them.

6. Living with spiders.

7. Becoming pretty much a vegetarian, not by choice because they don't really eat much meat except chicken every couple weeks...this is a huge thing if you know me and how much i loved eating my massive burgers with EVERYTHING on it like 3x/week.

8. No Air conditioning

9. The way people here drive, especially since I usually get extremely car-sick in the US. There are basically no rules for driving here except bigger/faster cars honk and go around the slower cars, sometimes becoming EXTREMELY close to accidents. A lot of death happens here because of their way of driving.

10. Geckos crawling all over the place (i HATE reptiles)

11. Getting looked at like I'm a martian from outer space everywhere I go, and having men here look at me in a way that no woman would want to be looked it.

12. Taking care of myself when I'm sick (i'm usually a HUGE a baby and am very needy when it comes to that)

13. Not having my friends to call everytime I'm having a hard time

14. Not having a community like Crossroads or Third Ref. or the Boiler Room where worshiping God is set right in front of me. Here, they worship God in a different language which makes it hard for me to stay focused or really enjoy worship since it's so different from what I would normally like. God is teaching me and stretching me in that way though.

15. Balancing time here so I can make sure I make time for people here and stay focused, but still make time for certain things back home.

16. Waking up at 6am everyday.

17. Being sick with something different all the time.

18. Mounds of rice 2x/day everyday.

19. The Heat.

20. Not being concerned about how I look because no matter how much makeup you wear or no matter how good you make your hair look, once you step outside, it'll all be ruined. Natural is way more beautiful here anyway.

21. Putting EVERYONE else here before myself. I was a very selfish person so this has taken some work, but it's an awesome thing.

22. Hugging the babies as tightly as I can, or letting them sleep next to me if they're scared, no matter how much lice (almost all of them have it) or scabies they have.

I was sitting here thinking about how different life here is from life back in the US and how I had to get used to certain things that I never thought I would be ok with, but I have. I think if we rely on God, we all are much stronger than we thought.

It's hard here. All of the things above took me a while to get used to. I didn't think i would be able to handle it when I first got here, but God has proved so faithful. It's exciting for me to see the change that He is making in my life after such a short time. I'm definitely becoming stronger and appreciate things in my life back at home So much more now.
I guess it took for me to go to the other side of the world and lose most of my "nice" things in order to see how much I had before. That's pretty sad. I am truly blessed.

The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

I arrived to the orphanage exactly a month ago. It went by so fast and looking back, I've already experienced more than some get to experience in a lifetime.
Although I am much more used to being here now and living the way they do, it is still challenging. Actually I am faced with more and more challenges everyday and they just keep on getting bigger, but for every challenge God puts in front of me, He sends me a blessing equally as large so they seem to balance out.

I am becoming strong. Not physically but realizing with God's help, I can handle anything that comes my way. It doesn't mean that it will be easy or that I will enjoy it, but I will get through it. The saying really is true that God will never give you anything you can't handle. That is being proved to me everyday.

I was thinking back to my old life; you know the one where I wasted money, time, and pretty much wasted everything good I had to live a shameful life without the Love of God? Most of you know what I'm talking about. I remember towards the end of that downward spiral I was on, I was thinking that there had to be more to that life I was living. I can not tell you how thankful I am for that time of brokenness. Or the time last summer/fall where I thought I was an example of what walking dead was. Isn't that the time in life, where we are living in the desert place, that we almost feel God the most even though we feel so empty and alone? I think it's because we know something is missing, and in the same way I felt it, there just had to be something more to life. Does that make sense?


I was talking to someone recently and was telling them about the kind of life I used to live, and it was so difficult for me because I am so ashamed of the choices I made, but at the same time, I couldn't wish to change anything, because I would not be living this amazing and beautiful life that I have been given today.

It's so awesome to look back and see how God is so faithful, even when you feel that He's absent. He never is. He does not leave. We do.

That doesn't really have much to do with anything I'm doing specifically here, but is just something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Even looking back over the past few weeks it's so apparent to me the work God is constantly doing in my life. It's hard to believe He's working just as hard in everyone else's life as well.

It's so awesome to hear people pray here and even though I have no idea what they're saying, God does. We all worship one God no matter where we are or what language we speak. Isn't that incredible?

It's small lessons like that, that I am learning everyday, making my appreciation for God's Greatness expand even more.

Yesterday was really difficult for me. I learned some things that upset me greatly and ended up just sitting and letting tears flow like the Niagra Falls.
Immediately, all of the kids kept asking me why I was crying, and I couldn't really explain it. I think a lot of built up emotion just came pouring out.

I was laying upstairs on a mat with my pillow and Aasha (Ah-Sha), who is teeny and just 3 years old, and doesn't talk much, came up to me, wiped my tears away and kissed me on the cheek. She then proceeded to put heat powder (to make you not sweat) on my face and neck and just looked at me and smiled and laid her head on my shoulder while she played with my hair.

Swathi (Swa-tee) came and sat by me and saw that I was upset, and because the power had been out for a while, the fans weren't working, therefore making it unbearably hot. She found some thick paper laying around and just sat there fanning me and telling me it was ok and not to cry, with the most compassionate look I've ever seen on a child.

I don't like crying or feeling weak around people. But between those girls and talking to a few people back home, all of my problems seemed to fade away and I found myself actually full of joy once again.

It's crazy to see how faithful God is to heal the deepest parts of you after you decide to surrender your life to Him.

Mondays are my designated day off. This means I get to sleep in past 530. I woke up when the kids did out on the covered roof (does that make sense? I dont know what else to call it) and went to my room and fell back asleep for a few hours which felt SO nice. Mounika (4-years-old) came in and saw my feet sticking out of my sheet and pulled it down so I would be fully covered. Then she found some of the bangles that I had just bought, sitting on my bed. (Remember, I am pretty much passed out and couldn't move or talk because I was so tired.) She tried to put them on my wrist but she couldn't get them on because I was no help. Then she would kiss me and after me not saying anything to her because i was sleeping, she would say "I am fine thank you" and walk out (that's pretty much all of the English she knows.) She came back about 4 more times and did the same thing. A kiss and "i am fine thank you." Even though i was basically sleeping, it was so funny. The last time she came back she found my brush, brushed through my hair once, kissed me, said "i am fine thank you" and then said "i love you."

Those are just a couple specific examples of why all of the challenges here and sacrifices are worth it. I am absolutely in love with these children. I love them like they're my family and they blow me away everyday with their joy and love for God and others.

So things are good. It's easy to get frustrated and irritated here especially in this heat, but God is here, along with us every step of the way.

Thomas is leaving tonight to go back to America, and Breana leaves on Wednesday. Please pray for them as they try to get readjusted to a lifestyle so completely different from here.

I apologize for this update being so random and going all over the place, but it is late here, and I'm tired and get distracted extremely easily. :)

Thank you for your continued love and prayers throughout my journey.

Grace and Peace,

Jenna

Home

I left from Michigan over 3 weeks ago. Although days here have seemed very long at times, I can't believe I've been here almost a month.
I have experienced a lot so far and every day look outside and think, "I can't believe I'm in India."

Dana left this past Wednesday, and seeing the tears coming down the faces of all the kids after her being here for 3 weeks, made me realize how hard it's going to be for me to leave them. I decided that I definitely will be coming back because you can't start connections and relationships with kids like this and then leave with no follow-up.

It's funny how we get so used to things we never thought we would be able to handle.
I live with spiders, I pour buckets of water over me for a shower, and I think 80 degrees would be perfect for cooling me down.

Living here so far has been such an amazing experience. I will never forget some of the things I've seen here. These kids have changed me. I don't know if I mentioned this but my first week here when I was so sick, I awoke from a nap with all 58 kids in my room with their hands on me praying for healing. All 58 were praying out loud and it was the most amazing thing.

During prayer time everyday, after the bible lesson, one person prays and then someone goes into the Lord's Prayer, but during that first prayer, numerous kids will stand up, not knowing the others are up, because they want to be the one to pray. When they pray, they yell. Their veins pop out and passion comes over their whole bodies as if they want to make sure God hears them.

I have never had a passion for praying like that, nor have I seen many kids back home from the ages of 3-13 have such a desire for God.
It's so different than what I'm used to to have every kid rush to get me a chair whenever there isn't one just so i won't have to sit on the floor. And they will not let me go get my own water. We don't see kids have so much respect for others very often.

I miss home though. Especially with hearing about a lot of hard times for people back there. It's so hard for me to not be able to just go over to see them. It's very fortunate for me to have the internet here and the use of a cell phone to keep in touch with people.

I don't have many specific things to talk about right now. I just am trying to update frequently.

I've been fasting for 4 days, and it has been a little bit more difficult to sleep because of my hunger and because of the heat. I would give anything for some American food! But at this point, I would appreciate any food. :)

I am finally getting used to it though. Like this is my home.

Thank you for your continued emails, messages and prayers.

Blessings!

Jenna

Tough Stuff

Let me be honest: my first couple weeks here have been hard. Very hard.
I feel like I’ve been constantly sick, tired and just unmotivated. Depressed is a word that accurately describes the majority of my time here so far.
I’ve felt discouraged and almost worthless not coming with a specific gift.

I’ve cracked a couple times and have cried and asked God what I was doing here.
Throughout the discouragement however, God has answered me swiftly.
Every morning when I get up I have all of the kids reaching for me to give me a hug and say “Praise the Lord, Sister.”

Little Naked Johnny runs up to me and wraps his little baby arms around my leg and looks up with his big, white-toothed smile.

Prasad walks up with his limp which just gives him so much character and adds to his cuteness, and jumps into my arms, kisses me on the cheek and just smiles, wide-eyed with his huge, teethy grin.

I will be the first to say that I haven’t thrown myself into this trip. But after talking to Thomas, Dana and Breana, I have felt very encouraged, and I have to think of back to why I felt God was calling me to be here in the first place.

What was God teaching me during this time of severe hardship?
Today it all came together for me, and hit me right in the face.

I have been hearing of the terrible conditions here, and I’ve been seeing it and living it. Although I have my own room and a toilet and a “shower” and get enough food to feed an army (I have it real good compared to most people who live here), I wouldn’t call living here luxurious. But it’s ok because I did not sign up for luxurious.

On our way home from day trips, late at night we see the trucks stopped on the side of the road to pick up the prostitutes. We’ve had to turn away the most beautiful little children who come up begging us for money to bring back to their mother’s. We’ve seen the sick and elderly, so helpless with no one really to care for them.

Dana has been gone quite a bit doing medical clinics in the villages. I only went with them once. Medicine is not my thing. I don’t know what to do, and can’t handle the littlest bit of blood. Therefore, I’ve stayed back here with the kids, and stuck to my hobby of editing photos and putting them up on my Flickr site and have let the girls play with and braid my hair while tossing a ball with the boys..

Over the past couple of weeks, Dana, Breana and Thomas have been going to the house of Mahdu (sp?), one of the staff members here. His dad has had extremely large open wounds on his leg and they recently found out (after seeing him a couple times) that he has AIDS, which is why he is so sick and not really getting any better. When they would come back and talk about “draining” the wounds and the smell, just those words made me feel sick and I decided I would rather do anything than go put myself in that situation.

But God decided to change my heart. Last week after talking to Dana, I asked her if the next time they went to visit him, if I could come with them. Today was the day.

I put on my sari, got into the car and after stopping at the local clinic to get a tour and meet the doctor, we headed over to see the man who was told he basically had no time left to live.
He was in the back of the hut laying on a cot, flies covering him like he was a decaying animal.

His family put him in the back because they thought he was going to die and apparently if someone does in a home, it is considered cursed and they have to leave for 6 months before it’s ok to live in again.

I just saw this man laying there and immediately, Dana started caring for him, squeezing out the infection of the leg wounds while Breana assisted. I was surprisingly not grossed out. The only emotion I felt was sadness. I saw the agony in his face as Dana tried to clean out what seemed like deep holes in his legs.

I sat on a chair up by his face and didn’t know what to do, so I just took a plastic fan and fanned him to try to cool him down and keep the flies away.

Because he had AIDS, no one in his family except for Mahdu would touch him or even come near him.

Can you imagine that? Your family member is dying and you just neglect them because you’re embarrassed and don’t want to catch what they have.

After all of his wounds were changed, we prayed for him.

As I saw the tears coming down his face, I felt my own face covered in tears as Dana and Breana spoke words over him and asked God to heal him both outside and in.
In his language, he looked up at Tom and said all he wanted was Jesus.

Something changed in me. All I wanted to do was hold his hand, stroke his hair and put lotion on his loose, extremely dry skin.

This is what God does. He swoops down into your life and just blows you away when you least expect it.

It’s so sad seeing people have to go through what they do here.

I’ve come to realize that I am so spoiled, and selfish and prideful, and I need to start counting every single blessing I have because compared to people here, I have so much, but yet always have felt so unsatisfied, wanting more.

However, when I look at the faith and passion that Christians here have for God, I see that they are rich with the Holy Spirit, and I am ashamed that I came here following God’s call for me, thinking I was going to teach them, and I am the one being taught about his Faithfulness by 3-year-olds.

I left for India almost three weeks ago and already so much has happened.
This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I will come back a changed person. You can’t come to a place like this and see and experience things here and not be.

Please pray for these kids. Half of them are gone with their families spreading the gospel. The others are here on summer break. If you go to the website (www.openarmsforasia.org) and read some of their stories, your hearts will break. But they have the joy of the Lord and seeing that joy is what is encouraging me here daily.

Pray for Dana as she departs to go back home tomorrow (Wednesday, May 6).

Pray for me to keep trusting in what the Lord has for me, especially as I deal with physical sickness and home-sickness. I am fasting for 5 days to remind myself that God is sufficient for me and will fulfill my needs.

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers, support and encouragement.

A special thank you to my Mom and Jamie for the books that each of you gave me for while I’m here. They are already a huge encouragement to me and has become a part of my daily routine to spend time reading both.

Feel free to email me privately if you have any specific questions or comments.

Grace and Peace to you,
Jenna

“NEVER BE LACKING IN ZEAL, BUT KEEP YOUR SPIRITUAL FERVOR, SERVING THE LORD. BE JOYFUL IN HOPE, PATIENT IN AFFLICTION, FAITHFUL IN PRAYER. SHARE WITH GOD’S PEOPLE WHO ARE IN NEED.”
[ROMANS 12:11-13]